Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
