I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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