I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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