So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
The best revenge is premature balding
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
