I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
