Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
