sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
