Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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