My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
