not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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