my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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