i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
