dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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