eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Dicks are not precious.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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