He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
