He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
