i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Terrible idea I love it
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
