My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
