i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
