I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
