you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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