if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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