Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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