Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
