So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
