im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
