i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
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I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
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I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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