i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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