My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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