Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
