It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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