youre lurking in front of me
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
