gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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