I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Enjoy the penises
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
