sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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