"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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