I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
