i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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