every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize