Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..

(1-905): View more from Toronto

With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.

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(630): View more from Illinois

You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it

(708): View more from Illinois

So thats why that cop beat my ass?

(630): View more from Illinois

Probably

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(212): View more from New York

Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.

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(815): View more from Illinois

"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss

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