VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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