he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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