If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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