And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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