So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
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Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
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My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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