I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
