I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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