You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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