new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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