we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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