you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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