Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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