I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
