so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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