fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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