brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
