Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
