Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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