Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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