i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize