that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
