The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
