im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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