how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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