call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The Olympian is in my bed
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
