Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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