meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
