Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
