I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
At least make sure they are 18
Why
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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