i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
